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The Importance of Not Putting Children in the Middle of the Divorce

A contested divorce can be an emotional and traumatic experience, especially for the children. They can easily get caught in the middle of the drama, witnessing hostility between two people they deeply love and care about.

The anger and resentment both parents feel about each other can be permanently etched into the kids’ memories forever. Additionally, using their children as bargaining chips in divorce can disrupt the way the kids remain close to both parents.

If you are a parent who is going through a divorce, you need to understand how divorce can undercut your ability to emotionally support your children and find the strength to address their needs. This includes constantly providing your kids with the love and attention necessary to help them make a successful transition into a new chapter in life.

The following are several ways to protect your children from being involved in your divorce:

  • Tell your children that the divorce is not their fault – Kids often tend to blame themselves for breaking up the family unit. You need to constantly reassure them that both parents will always love them and forever be a part of their lives.
  • Avoid speaking badly about the other parent – Children are typically caught in the middle of arguments and fights. It is wise to not complain, criticize, or blame the other parent when your children are around, or force them to take sides. Don’t even discourage your child to talk to the other parent. Doing so could cause significant and lasting emotional damage.
  • Do not use your kids as leverage – Not only does using the children as leverage result in emotional scarring, but it can also damage your reputation with the judge who will decide your case.
  • Control your emotions – While it is fine to occasionally feel angry, cry, and vent to your support system or therapist, you must avoid letting your emotions get the best of your in front of the kids. Since children are highly impressionable, your emotions may cause them to feel distressed and confused.
  • Effectively co-parent with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse – You and your spouse need to discuss how the divorce may affect your kids and work together to help them through the process. Just because your marriage is over, doesn’t mean being a parent ends as well. Being a united front before and after divorce can provide your children with the consistency and guidance necessary to become emotionally stronger after divorce.

If you are interested in filing for a divorce in Houston, TX, contact Kutty Law Firm, PLLC today and request a confidential consultation.

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